My Mom Is Too Attractive!
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I’m Afraid to Show my Mother to my Friends; She’s Too Attractive!
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Hi, my name is Cynthia and the story I’m about to tell you has to do with something that has haunted me my whole life. It’s about my mum, well I mean it’s about me too because it’s my story, but can you even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a mum who is drop-dead gorgeous?
Of course, she would be the centre of my story, because she’s the centre of attention ALL the time! When I was little, I truly believed my mum was a princess because she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And even now, at age 50 she still looks incredible. And everyone agrees. But the thing is, it’s a bit of a problem and it’s only getting worse the older I get. I’m 15 now and I sometimes think people only want to be my friend so that they can take selfies with my mum and hang out with her and get beauty tips. Whenever my friends come over to hang out, they always linger around my mum and I’ve started to think they like her more than me.
Just before my last birthday, the most popular girls in school tried to befriend me and I know it was only because of my mum. It’s sickening! And it gets worse. You see I was dating this guy called Ryan and he was super sweet. We spent every weekend together at his parent’s cabin in the mountains and I can’t deny, I was pretty smitten. Everyone said we made such a cute couple! I sometimes felt a bit self-conscious about the way I looked.
I mean he was definitely out of my league. I’m short but I have these really long arms that just kind of dangle at my side, and well I was pretty nervous for Ryan to meet my mum, so I put it off and put it off until one weekend when he couldn’t take it any longer. He demanded to meet my mum, and well, I couldn’t resist. Ryan has these beautiful puppy-dog eyes which make it so impossible to say no to!
So we agreed to meet at my house on the Saturday afternoon for lunch. That morning I asked my mum if she wanted to go for a run. I figured that way she might look a little sweaty and her hair might frizz up a bit, and then maybe Ryan wouldn’t even notice that she was pretty. But she said she actually had plans, and she might not even be back in time to meet Ryan. I tried hard not to look happy and ran up to my room to get ready. I was so relieved! Ryan and I had such a nice afternoon! We ordered burgers and lay in the garden and it felt like the best date ever. We must have dozed off, because the next thing my mum was standing over us calling my name.
She was wearing a tight red dress and her hair was all wavy, and was that a new perfume she was wearing? Ryan’s eyes almost popped out of his head, just like I’d expected, and he got all nervous. He actually stumbled over his words, and instead of saying “Hi Sally” (Oh yeah Sally is my mum’s name), he said “hi sexy” and then he went bright red, and my mum just laughed. It was one of those really awkward moments and I didn’t know what to do. I mumbled that I needed to go wash my face, and I ran off. Was this really happening? Did Ryan fancy my mum? This was typical! All my life people have fallen head over heels in love with my mum, and as soon as that happens, they forget about me and just ignore me. I could hear them laughing in the kitchen and clinking glasses. No doubt mum had given him some of her homemade lemonade. Yet another way to win him over.
Why couldn’t she just be like other mums? Why did she have to look so good? Aren’t you supposed to turn 50 and become all wrinkly and let the younger generations have a chance at being the pretty ones? It was too late. Ryan would break up with me and I’d be single forever. I bet Ryan and my mum would start dating. Then I’d be the laughing stock at school. I was sure I have lost my wonderful boyfriend, and my respect to my mom that very moment. I couldn’t bear it. I ran
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